Friday marked my third month post op. My weight was 196. Thats a total of 54 pounds. I am focusing more on my eating. At least what I should be eating. Not having the dumping syndrome has been both a blessing and curse. I am still able to eat stuff that I enjoy however, thats the curse at the same time. Its a double edge sword. I am going to head back to the gym and get some cardio in. That way it will kick start my weight loss. I had been averaging 20 pounds, but this month it was 14 pounds (which is still good). It is just a let down after such rapid weight loss in the beginning. I know it will always be a battle, but it is an easier battle to fight when I have the upper hand. I feel more in control. It definitely makes it easier when you are never hungry and you get full really easy.
Until next time...
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Turning 30
After all the hype, turning 30 wasn't that bad. I hear that it is the best time of your life. I will have to let everyone know about that one. I think your 20's are about learning about who you are and what you want in life. Your 30's are about making that happen. Life is an ever evolving process. I have learned so much about myself over the past few years, especially the last few months. I know that every obstacle you have in your life makes you a stronger person. I feel like I have grown so much. I am also very thankful for all the tough times that I have had. I realize that there is always someone out there that is worse off than me (I wish that wasn't true). I am happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. I need to engrave that in my mind. Only I can create my own happiness. It is not someone else's job.
Until next time...
Until next time...
Monday, October 16, 2006
MILESTONE!!!!!
Well today was a great day!! I am finally below 200 lbs. I can't remember the last time I weighed less than 200 lbs. Today is a very happy day. I weighed myself this morning and I was still a pound or so off. And from working all day unpacking - yes my stuff arrived safe and sound- I guess I gurned off 2 lbs or I just got rid of some excess water weight. Anyways, I don't care how it happened....I am the happiest person right now. So total weight loss to date is 51 pounds. YEAH ME!!!
The move - My stuff arrived around 10 am today. So far, I haven't found any major problems. Although I am missing a bookcase, my favorite one too. Oh well. If that is the only issue then I am doing good.
Until next time....
The move - My stuff arrived around 10 am today. So far, I haven't found any major problems. Although I am missing a bookcase, my favorite one too. Oh well. If that is the only issue then I am doing good.
Until next time....
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Update on Life
Ok, so I have been terrible about writing. I have been so busy. Can I just say that it is GREAT to be back in sunny South Florida!!
My weight loss has slowed down a lot. I knew that it would happen. I just didn’t know that it would happen so early. So I am trying to kick start it again. I am going to start exercising. As of today, I only have a half a pound until I am below 200 ~ the first BIG milestone!!! Then, I am almost half way to my goal. I am feeling so much better and more confident. Yesterday, I went out on my friend’s boat. I had a great time. I don’t have the confidence to get into a bathing suit quite yet (I don’t own one either). But I had a great time. With every pound that comes off, my confidence and self-esteem rise. When I looked in the mirror this morning, I noticed that my stomach is almost flat. I can’t remember the last time that it was like that.
On the job front – I was offered a position with the Health Care District and decided that I would accept it. I do not really like what I am doing currently. And the position at the Health Care District is the one I REALLY wanted. I start on November 6th. I have to go through the background screening and drug test before they can start me. I am really excited. I will finally have more normal hours and I will not be driving all over the county. That makes me very happy.
Update on the move – I went back to Massachusetts to get the rest of my stuff. I ended up hiring a moving company (against my better judgment). But it was the only solution to the problem. They were supposed to pick up my stuff last Monday (Columbus Day). I get a call at 5:30 pm from the guys to tell me that they weren’t going to make it. Needless to say, I was PISSED. Then the guys left the area and never made the pick up. It took me all day Tuesday to finally get that straightened out. So my stuff was finally picked up on Wednesday. I am still enraged. The company is supposed to compensate me for the trouble, but we will see. I think I will file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. I just hope my stuff is in good shape. It is supposed to be delivered tomorrow morning. I will update everyone on the outcome.
Until next time….
My weight loss has slowed down a lot. I knew that it would happen. I just didn’t know that it would happen so early. So I am trying to kick start it again. I am going to start exercising. As of today, I only have a half a pound until I am below 200 ~ the first BIG milestone!!! Then, I am almost half way to my goal. I am feeling so much better and more confident. Yesterday, I went out on my friend’s boat. I had a great time. I don’t have the confidence to get into a bathing suit quite yet (I don’t own one either). But I had a great time. With every pound that comes off, my confidence and self-esteem rise. When I looked in the mirror this morning, I noticed that my stomach is almost flat. I can’t remember the last time that it was like that.
On the job front – I was offered a position with the Health Care District and decided that I would accept it. I do not really like what I am doing currently. And the position at the Health Care District is the one I REALLY wanted. I start on November 6th. I have to go through the background screening and drug test before they can start me. I am really excited. I will finally have more normal hours and I will not be driving all over the county. That makes me very happy.
Update on the move – I went back to Massachusetts to get the rest of my stuff. I ended up hiring a moving company (against my better judgment). But it was the only solution to the problem. They were supposed to pick up my stuff last Monday (Columbus Day). I get a call at 5:30 pm from the guys to tell me that they weren’t going to make it. Needless to say, I was PISSED. Then the guys left the area and never made the pick up. It took me all day Tuesday to finally get that straightened out. So my stuff was finally picked up on Wednesday. I am still enraged. The company is supposed to compensate me for the trouble, but we will see. I think I will file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. I just hope my stuff is in good shape. It is supposed to be delivered tomorrow morning. I will update everyone on the outcome.
Until next time….
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Living Life
I have to say I am really glad to be back home. I really missed being in HOT, sunny South Florida. I feel better (psychologically). I missed my family and my friends. I guess you don't know what you have until it's gone.
I am trying to live free from fear. That is a difficult thing to do. But fear stops you from living. If I have learned nothing else in my years on this earth, it's that fear is CRIPPLING. I know, I know. I have ranted about this before. But I can't believe how much fear rules some people's lives (including my own). So, I made the decision that this is the end of the road. No more. Fear will be with me no longer. I want to feel free not trapped. And that is how it feels to have fear controlling your life. It is possible that I may get hurt in the process, but that is part of living. The best part about being hurt is remembering the way it felt before the hurt. And the hurt goes away ~ eventually. I should say that it fades with time.
Life is full of choices and decisions. Those decisions lead us down our paths. I am truly convinced that NOTHING that happens in our life is by chance. I believe that there is a reason for everything. We may not understand that reason, but it is there. If you have never read Mitch Albom's book, The Five People you meet in Heaven, (or something like that) it is a must read. It is very short and talks about the five people the main character meets in heaven. Each person is to help bring some understanding to this person's life. I hope and pray that one day I will understand why things go the way they do. But for now it is not meant for me to understand. So, I am thinking less and taking more risks (emotionally). I know that what is meant to be will be and I have to let go. Because trying to control it, doesn't work. It hasn't for the last 29 years, so why would it start to work now.
So, for now, I am letting go and living. No matter what the outcome might be. Guarding my heart has only brought disappointment and sorrow. And I am no longer ok with surviving.
"There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. " ~ O.S. Marden
Until next time...
I am trying to live free from fear. That is a difficult thing to do. But fear stops you from living. If I have learned nothing else in my years on this earth, it's that fear is CRIPPLING. I know, I know. I have ranted about this before. But I can't believe how much fear rules some people's lives (including my own). So, I made the decision that this is the end of the road. No more. Fear will be with me no longer. I want to feel free not trapped. And that is how it feels to have fear controlling your life. It is possible that I may get hurt in the process, but that is part of living. The best part about being hurt is remembering the way it felt before the hurt. And the hurt goes away ~ eventually. I should say that it fades with time.
Life is full of choices and decisions. Those decisions lead us down our paths. I am truly convinced that NOTHING that happens in our life is by chance. I believe that there is a reason for everything. We may not understand that reason, but it is there. If you have never read Mitch Albom's book, The Five People you meet in Heaven, (or something like that) it is a must read. It is very short and talks about the five people the main character meets in heaven. Each person is to help bring some understanding to this person's life. I hope and pray that one day I will understand why things go the way they do. But for now it is not meant for me to understand. So, I am thinking less and taking more risks (emotionally). I know that what is meant to be will be and I have to let go. Because trying to control it, doesn't work. It hasn't for the last 29 years, so why would it start to work now.
So, for now, I am letting go and living. No matter what the outcome might be. Guarding my heart has only brought disappointment and sorrow. And I am no longer ok with surviving.
"There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. " ~ O.S. Marden
Until next time...
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Control
So, I got a job!! I am going to be working with foster children. I will see how I like it because it wasn't my first choice. But I needed a job and this is no time to be picky.
I am so glad to be back in sunny South Florida. I know now that this is where I belong. Whatever is meant for my life will be. I need to stop trying to control every aspect of it. It is not humanly possible.
I realize that when things in my life start to go well I tend to sabotage them. I am the queen at ruining a good thing. FEAR That is the most crippling word in the English language. Fear causes people to not live. I guess that is what has been in control of my life for the past few years ~ Fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of being hurt. Fear of being a failure. That fear manifests itself in so many different ways. It is unbelieveable. My job as a therapist/counselor is to help others and that is the easiest thing I have ever done. I am good at helping others. The hard part is helping yourself.
I have made several conscious decisions over the past week. I refuse to let fear be in control anymore. I also refuse to walk away when something doesn't go how I want it to. Perfection does not exist in "real" life ~ only in fairy tales. And those don't exist either. So that leaves me to conclude that everytime I try to control every facet of my life, things go out of control. So many times I have been told to "let go and let God" and when I do that, things are great. So that is what is going to start happening again. I don't want to sound like some religious "freak". But God is in control and the sooner I let go of control maybe, just maybe, things will get back in order.
Until next time...
I am so glad to be back in sunny South Florida. I know now that this is where I belong. Whatever is meant for my life will be. I need to stop trying to control every aspect of it. It is not humanly possible.
I realize that when things in my life start to go well I tend to sabotage them. I am the queen at ruining a good thing. FEAR That is the most crippling word in the English language. Fear causes people to not live. I guess that is what has been in control of my life for the past few years ~ Fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of being hurt. Fear of being a failure. That fear manifests itself in so many different ways. It is unbelieveable. My job as a therapist/counselor is to help others and that is the easiest thing I have ever done. I am good at helping others. The hard part is helping yourself.
I have made several conscious decisions over the past week. I refuse to let fear be in control anymore. I also refuse to walk away when something doesn't go how I want it to. Perfection does not exist in "real" life ~ only in fairy tales. And those don't exist either. So that leaves me to conclude that everytime I try to control every facet of my life, things go out of control. So many times I have been told to "let go and let God" and when I do that, things are great. So that is what is going to start happening again. I don't want to sound like some religious "freak". But God is in control and the sooner I let go of control maybe, just maybe, things will get back in order.
Until next time...
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Fairy tales don't exist
Well I have been back in West Palm Beach for a few days. The job search is going ok. I have had a few interviews. I hope I find a job soon because I am going to go crazy doing nothing.
I weighed myself today and I am down 36 pounds!!! I am so excited. It feels so good. Although, it has been a tough week with feeling not so good. I think it is because I haven't been drinking enough water. It is hard to remember sometimes. I am thankful for all the support and well wishes I have been receiving. I always wonder what people I haven't seen in awhile think when they read my blog.
I have learned a lot on this journey. I realize that happiness isn't a destination, it is a journey. Everything in your life adds up to happiness. My whole life I have believed in fairy tales and prince charming coming and sweeping me off of my feet. What I now realize is that is not how it happens. I am not even sure that fairy tales exist. I turn 30 next month and my fairy tale has yet to happen. I am not married. I do not have any children - human ones at least. Both of these I want more than anything. I know how to help others with their issues, but I seem incapable or unable to help myself. I know that everything happens according to God's plan. I have always been impatient and maybe God is trying to teach me patience. It just seems that every guy I date gets married right after me. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know that life is not meant to be easy. But was it meant to be so damn hard?!
I weighed myself today and I am down 36 pounds!!! I am so excited. It feels so good. Although, it has been a tough week with feeling not so good. I think it is because I haven't been drinking enough water. It is hard to remember sometimes. I am thankful for all the support and well wishes I have been receiving. I always wonder what people I haven't seen in awhile think when they read my blog.
I have learned a lot on this journey. I realize that happiness isn't a destination, it is a journey. Everything in your life adds up to happiness. My whole life I have believed in fairy tales and prince charming coming and sweeping me off of my feet. What I now realize is that is not how it happens. I am not even sure that fairy tales exist. I turn 30 next month and my fairy tale has yet to happen. I am not married. I do not have any children - human ones at least. Both of these I want more than anything. I know how to help others with their issues, but I seem incapable or unable to help myself. I know that everything happens according to God's plan. I have always been impatient and maybe God is trying to teach me patience. It just seems that every guy I date gets married right after me. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know that life is not meant to be easy. But was it meant to be so damn hard?!
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Resolution
Today will be my last day work. It has been a tough week. Most of the kids that I see, I have been seeing as long as I have been at my job. It was an emotional week. I had a few foster parents tell me that I am the best therapist they have had in 20 years. That was definitely an ego booster. On the other hand it is sad to leave and not see the progression of my clients.
Earlier this week I had a dream about Nick Lachey. I know what you all are thinking - CRAZY!!! At the time, I had no idea what the dream meant. Then today I was driving home and I was listening to Nick's new CD. The final song on the CD is called "Resolution". It suddenly hit me what my dream meant.
In order to explain the meaning of my dream, I have to take you back to when I moved to Massachusetts in the first place. Kelly Clarkson had a song call "Breakaway". At that time, it was my theme song. My move to Massachusetts was for me to get away from Florida and clear my head. I just needed to "breakaway". Now almost 2 years later, I am resolved. I have learned a lot about myself and what I want out of life. I am no longer happy just sitting back waiting for life to "happen". I am going to make it happen. This is MY resolution.
Music has always been a large part of my life. I always seem to identify things that are occurring in my life to music. It is my expression. It's definitely something I inherited from dad - his love for music.
I am continuing to do well in my recovery. I have lost a total of 32 pounds to date. Everyday I am so happy I made the decision that I did. I know was the best choice for me.
I am leaving early Friday morning to make the trip back to Florida - part 1 at least. I am almost done packing the car up. I will come home from work today and take a little nappy. Then I will get up and start the 24 hour drive back to West Palm Beach.
Well it's late...Until next time.....
Earlier this week I had a dream about Nick Lachey. I know what you all are thinking - CRAZY!!! At the time, I had no idea what the dream meant. Then today I was driving home and I was listening to Nick's new CD. The final song on the CD is called "Resolution". It suddenly hit me what my dream meant.
In order to explain the meaning of my dream, I have to take you back to when I moved to Massachusetts in the first place. Kelly Clarkson had a song call "Breakaway". At that time, it was my theme song. My move to Massachusetts was for me to get away from Florida and clear my head. I just needed to "breakaway". Now almost 2 years later, I am resolved. I have learned a lot about myself and what I want out of life. I am no longer happy just sitting back waiting for life to "happen". I am going to make it happen. This is MY resolution.
Music has always been a large part of my life. I always seem to identify things that are occurring in my life to music. It is my expression. It's definitely something I inherited from dad - his love for music.
I am continuing to do well in my recovery. I have lost a total of 32 pounds to date. Everyday I am so happy I made the decision that I did. I know was the best choice for me.
I am leaving early Friday morning to make the trip back to Florida - part 1 at least. I am almost done packing the car up. I will come home from work today and take a little nappy. Then I will get up and start the 24 hour drive back to West Palm Beach.
Well it's late...Until next time.....
Friday, September 08, 2006
I HATE MOVING
Moving really sucks. And when you move 1500 miles, it REALLY SUCKS!!!! There has been yet another change of plans. My brother was unable to secure affordable airfare, therefore I will pack up my car with the essentials and the animals and head home to West Palm next week for some interviews. Then I will fly my happy ass (hopefully with someone willing to help) back to Boston, pack up the rest of my stuff and drive (yet again) back to West Palm. This seems to be the best solution right now. I am not sure of any other way.
I saw my surgeon today. She is happy for me that I am moving home. She told me to stay in touch and send her an email from time to time. I really like her. She is the best. She also said that she was going to find me a bariatric surgeon down there to follow me. As for my progress, I am doing well. I have lost a total of 31 pounds. My incision is completely healed so I am able to go swimming and take a bath if I wanted. :) My sense of smell is getting a little better. I am also able to add in some fruits and vegetables as long as I am getting my protein in. I promise I will post some pictures this weekend.
Well thats all for now...Until next time.......
I saw my surgeon today. She is happy for me that I am moving home. She told me to stay in touch and send her an email from time to time. I really like her. She is the best. She also said that she was going to find me a bariatric surgeon down there to follow me. As for my progress, I am doing well. I have lost a total of 31 pounds. My incision is completely healed so I am able to go swimming and take a bath if I wanted. :) My sense of smell is getting a little better. I am also able to add in some fruits and vegetables as long as I am getting my protein in. I promise I will post some pictures this weekend.
Well thats all for now...Until next time.......
Monday, September 04, 2006
Moving
Today was a boring day. I did nothing. Story of my life right now. I am trying to get everything packed up before my brother arrives that way he just has to load the truck and we can be on our merry little way. Although, I am a little stressed right now. Since the surgery, I haven't really been working that much so money is VERY tight and I am trying to scrape up enough so that I can get back to Florida. The weekend of the 15th is the only weekend that my brother is able to come up to help. So, I am praying that God will provide and that the gas prices continue to drop. So everyone pray with me. I would say that I am probably half way packed. This weekend I am going to go to my aunt's to say my goodbyes. I know that my cousins are going to have a difficult time with this. I spoke with my aunt today and she told me that she was going to tell them tonight. I hope they took it ok.
Well thats all for now. Until next time.......
Well thats all for now. Until next time.......
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Week 5
ARGGGGGGGGGHHHHH! I was trying to post and I lost it. So I have to start from scratch. I have been busy packing and getting things tied up for my move. It looks like I will be heading back to sunny South Florida on Sept. 15th. My brother and his new wife (whom I have never met) are going to fly up to drive back with me. I am still on a lift restriction so I can pack but I can't lift anything over 10 pounds - which is everything. My friend Tara has a vacant townhouse that she owns, so I will be staying there until I can figure out what I want to do on a more permanent basis. I am also still working on obtaining a job. I am not worried. I know that God will provide.
Weight loss is going good. I have lost about 29 pounds. I have to go see the doctor for my 6 week follow up appointment on Friday. I also get to add some new foods to my diet this week . YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never thought I would be excited to eat vegetables. I have been having issues with eating over the past week becuase my snese of smell is incredibly good since the surgery. I smell something and I get naseaus. It really sucks.
Gizmo is doing well since we have returned home. Although, I think he knows something is up because when I am packing he is sitting on my lap. He has calmed down a lot and is not chewing on my hand as much. He is also listening better. And he is going to the bathroom outside for the most part.
Well I can't seem to remember everything I wrote in the other post that is lost. So thats all for now. Until next time.......
Weight loss is going good. I have lost about 29 pounds. I have to go see the doctor for my 6 week follow up appointment on Friday. I also get to add some new foods to my diet this week . YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never thought I would be excited to eat vegetables. I have been having issues with eating over the past week becuase my snese of smell is incredibly good since the surgery. I smell something and I get naseaus. It really sucks.
Gizmo is doing well since we have returned home. Although, I think he knows something is up because when I am packing he is sitting on my lap. He has calmed down a lot and is not chewing on my hand as much. He is also listening better. And he is going to the bathroom outside for the most part.
Well I can't seem to remember everything I wrote in the other post that is lost. So thats all for now. Until next time.......
Sunday, August 27, 2006
1 Month
Well I just made the most difficult decision I have had to make in awhile. I have decided to move back to Florida. I have realized that the time I needed away from there is done. I have learned a lot and I am just ready to go home. I miss my friends and yes even my family. I have a support network down there that I don't have here. So, I am going home at the end of September. I have enjoyed my time in Massachusetts and I have learned a lot about myself.
I have lost 26 pounds as of today. I am so happy. I am adjusting and I know that I still have a long road ahead of me. Thanks to everyone for all your support.
Until next time......
I have lost 26 pounds as of today. I am so happy. I am adjusting and I know that I still have a long road ahead of me. Thanks to everyone for all your support.
Until next time......
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Day 28
Well I have made it through another week. I have 2 weeks until I can add some more foods into my diet. Carbs!!!! Yeah. Everyone asks if I am hungry and the luckily I am not. I am still trying to figure out how I feel. I don't think I can explain how I have felt since the surgery. I just feel different - physically. I never realized how difficult the recovery would be. I have been an emotional trainwreck. I spent all last weekend at home crying- for no reason that I could tell. I know that my hormones are crazy because I am not on my birth control because it increases the chances of blot clots forming.
I have made it through almost 2 weeks back at work. Everyday gets a little easier and I get a little stronger. Although I know I probably won't feel completely like myself until at least 6 weeks after the surgery. My incision is starting to hurt less. I decided to take my pain medication at night so that I get a really good night's sleep in order for my body to recoup.
Well I am tired. Until next time.....
I have made it through almost 2 weeks back at work. Everyday gets a little easier and I get a little stronger. Although I know I probably won't feel completely like myself until at least 6 weeks after the surgery. My incision is starting to hurt less. I decided to take my pain medication at night so that I get a really good night's sleep in order for my body to recoup.
Well I am tired. Until next time.....
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Day 20
Well I ended up staying home today. I was up half the night last night in the bathroom. I am not quite sure what was going on but it was not fun. So, I was very nervous to leave the house today. I stayed home and rested and took it easy on the food. I am supposed to have 5 - 2 ounce meals a day. I had 3 today. I was just nervous and wanted to see how my stomach and digestion went.
I am glad to be back home. I missed my bed and the kitty. She didn't destroy the house as I thought she might have. She did throw up on my bed though. So, Jill came up and helped me make my bed and then ran some errands with me. The doctor wants me to keep driving to a minimum. So we went to Walmart, PetSmart, and Stop and Shop. My grocery bill was the best. It wasn't even $50. And that will probably last at least a week. :)
I have a doctor's appt on Friday to get the last 3 staples out. I may try to get Jill to take a picture of the scar for those of you who are curious. It really isn't that bad. Although I can't really touch it yet. It freaks me out.
Well its late and I am tired. Until next time.......
I am glad to be back home. I missed my bed and the kitty. She didn't destroy the house as I thought she might have. She did throw up on my bed though. So, Jill came up and helped me make my bed and then ran some errands with me. The doctor wants me to keep driving to a minimum. So we went to Walmart, PetSmart, and Stop and Shop. My grocery bill was the best. It wasn't even $50. And that will probably last at least a week. :)
I have a doctor's appt on Friday to get the last 3 staples out. I may try to get Jill to take a picture of the scar for those of you who are curious. It really isn't that bad. Although I can't really touch it yet. It freaks me out.
Well its late and I am tired. Until next time.......
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Day 14
2 weeks!!!!!!!!! I made it. I was able to eat soft solids today. And there were no problems. Yippee!!! It was amazing to me how quickly I felt full. I am also trying to learn what full and hungry feel like. I think I have figured out full. I did the best today with my protein and water goals. I had 58 grams of proteing today and 50 ounces of water. I also felt my best today. That makes me feel better after my day yesterday. I know that this journey is going to be full of ups and downs and I am trying to prepare myself for that. But I never know when it is going to hit. But today was a good day. I had eggs for breakfast, ham for lunch, ground turkey for a snack and dinner, and eggs for a snack in the evening. I was definitely very excited to actually be eating food. I didn't have any issues and that made it even better. My incision looks really good. The top part is healing well. I can't see the bottom, but my aunt reports that it looks good also. I head home on Monday 8/14 and can't wait to get there. I just want my stuff. Jill is going to come up and help me with making my bed (since I can't lift anything more than 10 pounds). I am so thankful for the help. Then on Tuesday, it's back to work. Yeah. I never thought I would be that excited to get back to work, but I am so bored I am going out of my mind. Well its late so that's all for now. I will post pictures tomorrow. Until next time......
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Day 13
Wow. I get to eat soft solids tomorrow. Yippie!!!! Today was a rough day. I woke up feeling a little nauseous. It actually lasted all day. I barely got in any protein today. I am also experiencing some really bad leg cramps. I called the PA and she suggested that I drink propel and try to mash up some bananas. I am still having some tonight. I was also very emotional today. Probably a combination of going off my birth control (because it increases the liklihood of blood clots) and I haven't taken my Lexapro since the surgery. So needless to say I am on a crazy roller coaster. I was thinking today, "What the hell did I do", "Did I make the right decision". I was also wondering when it is gonna get better. My incision is looking better tonight. It is starting to close up. The top part looks great. It is completely healed. I am not sure what I weigh because the scale is on the fritz. However, I will weigh myself first thing tomorrow morning because the battery has been changed in the scale. I will try to get some pictures up also. It's late and I am tired. Until next time......
Saturday, August 05, 2006
This has been a rough week. I am really emotional because I haven't been taking my anxiety medication because it is too big and I can't seem to get it cut small enough. Anyways, Gizmo won't stop shitting in the house and it is obviously driving my aunt and uncle crazy. I don't know what else to do to potty train him. I have tried taking him out every 2 hours and taking him out right after he eats. Problem is, he doesn't do anything outside and then when he comes inside, he does his thing. I am not sure how else to get him to learn to go to the bathroom outside.
I also feel like I am an intrusion at my aunt and uncle's house. I have been here so much. I also just want my own bed and things. But I am not allowed to drive, so I am basically stuck here. It sucks. I want to go back to work because I am so bored, but again the no driving thing. I don't have anyone that can drive me to and from work so I am stuck here. It is depressing at times. And that can be an overwhelming feeling right now. I am not quite sure how to aleviate that.
On another note, I am so grateful to everyone who has helped me out or supported me on this journey. I know that it isn't going to be an easy one, but I am on my way and there is no turning back (not that I would).
Until next time......
I also feel like I am an intrusion at my aunt and uncle's house. I have been here so much. I also just want my own bed and things. But I am not allowed to drive, so I am basically stuck here. It sucks. I want to go back to work because I am so bored, but again the no driving thing. I don't have anyone that can drive me to and from work so I am stuck here. It is depressing at times. And that can be an overwhelming feeling right now. I am not quite sure how to aleviate that.
On another note, I am so grateful to everyone who has helped me out or supported me on this journey. I know that it isn't going to be an easy one, but I am on my way and there is no turning back (not that I would).
Until next time......
Friday, August 04, 2006
Week 1 Results
Well I just got home from the doctor's office. The total weight loss for week one is 12 pounds. :) YEAH!!!!!! I get to eat some real food next week, probably Thursday. I think I will try some eggs. YUM!! It has been a tough week and I am so grateful to everyone who has helped me during this week. I haven't been the nicest and I apologize for that. I am so excited about the initial weight loss and I know that it won't be this much always. I know the first month is always the most and then things start to slow down. Welll back to sipping my fluids.... Until next time.......
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