Control

So, I got a job!! I am going to be working with foster children. I will see how I like it because it wasn't my first choice. But I needed a job and this is no time to be picky.
I am so glad to be back in sunny South Florida. I know now that this is where I belong. Whatever is meant for my life will be. I need to stop trying to control every aspect of it. It is not humanly possible.
I realize that when things in my life start to go well I tend to sabotage them. I am the queen at ruining a good thing. FEAR That is the most crippling word in the English language. Fear causes people to not live. I guess that is what has been in control of my life for the past few years ~ Fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of being hurt. Fear of being a failure. That fear manifests itself in so many different ways. It is unbelieveable. My job as a therapist/counselor is to help others and that is the easiest thing I have ever done. I am good at helping others. The hard part is helping yourself.
I have made several conscious decisions over the past week. I refuse to let fear be in control anymore. I also refuse to walk away when something doesn't go how I want it to. Perfection does not exist in "real" life ~ only in fairy tales. And those don't exist either. So that leaves me to conclude that everytime I try to control every facet of my life, things go out of control. So many times I have been told to "let go and let God" and when I do that, things are great. So that is what is going to start happening again. I don't want to sound like some religious "freak". But God is in control and the sooner I let go of control maybe, just maybe, things will get back in order.
Until next time...