Living Life

I have to say I am really glad to be back home. I really missed being in HOT, sunny South Florida. I feel better (psychologically). I missed my family and my friends. I guess you don't know what you have until it's gone.

I am trying to live free from fear. That is a difficult thing to do. But fear stops you from living. If I have learned nothing else in my years on this earth, it's that fear is CRIPPLING. I know, I know. I have ranted about this before. But I can't believe how much fear rules some people's lives (including my own). So, I made the decision that this is the end of the road. No more. Fear will be with me no longer. I want to feel free not trapped. And that is how it feels to have fear controlling your life. It is possible that I may get hurt in the process, but that is part of living. The best part about being hurt is remembering the way it felt before the hurt. And the hurt goes away ~ eventually. I should say that it fades with time.

Life is full of choices and decisions. Those decisions lead us down our paths. I am truly convinced that NOTHING that happens in our life is by chance. I believe that there is a reason for everything. We may not understand that reason, but it is there. If you have never read Mitch Albom's book, The Five People you meet in Heaven, (or something like that) it is a must read. It is very short and talks about the five people the main character meets in heaven. Each person is to help bring some understanding to this person's life. I hope and pray that one day I will understand why things go the way they do. But for now it is not meant for me to understand. So, I am thinking less and taking more risks (emotionally). I know that what is meant to be will be and I have to let go. Because trying to control it, doesn't work. It hasn't for the last 29 years, so why would it start to work now.

So, for now, I am letting go and living. No matter what the outcome might be. Guarding my heart has only brought disappointment and sorrow. And I am no longer ok with surviving.

"There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. " ~ O.S. Marden

Until next time...