Well today was a long and interesting day. Work as always provides me with much excitement. I did well with my eating today. I have to admit that this blogging is extremly therapeutic. I was thinking all day in the car in my lovely drives to my clients's homes. Something really bothered me...I have been on Match.com trying to find friends or love or whatever should happen. I guess I never realized just how superficial people can be. For those of you who don't know, I lost my father when I was a toddler. He was overweight and very unhappy. He had an operation to help him lose the weight. Unfortunately, he lost more than his weight ~he lost his life and I lost my father. I have always been extremely sensitive to people who are overweight...never thinking in a million years I would be there myself. For those that have never battled a weight problem, it is not just about the food. It is such a difficult fight. Some of us have the "fat genes" and it makes it all the bit harder. I guess I never really realized just how much being overweight HURTS ~ not just physically but emotionally. All those pounds represent years of hurt and for some it is their only source of protection. I think about society and the message it sends to all of our young kids. I hear it from my teenage girls about how fat they are and how they have to go on a diet or they won't be liked. And unfortunately they are right. People only see the outside and judge based on that. Being overweight is a lonely life to live which makes it all the more difficult to lose the weight. What viscious cycle!!
I was once skinny...in high school. I don't remember being all that happy as a skinny person. Just hungry all the time. There has to be some medium. I know that I can lose this weight...I just hope that I can do it in enough time for Jill. I am not only doing this for her, I am doing this for me, for my dad, and for all the overweight people in the world. I want people to somehow understand how difficult it is to live with being fat. How scary the thought is of possibly spending the rest of your life alone and never being able to find someone to love you for who you are and not what you look like. I am done with covering up the hurt behind the pounds. I hope this can record not only my struggles but my triumphs as well.
I want to say thank you for all of those that posted comments, they are helpful and motivating.
Until tomorrow.......