Celebrating

Today we celebrated the kids’ birthdays. We held the celebration at a nearby park. I was hoping that this would be beneficial for Gage. I’m not sure I fully thought that out. After several days of “cold” weather, I think everyone was at the park…ok not really. However, there were several parties going on at the same time as ours. This turned out to be very interesting. Gage had no problem going into all the pavilions and helping himself to what they had.  He ran up to virtually everyone at the park and interacted with them on some level. For his dad and me, we cheer this. Luckily, there were understanding people at the park. To everyone at Royal Palm Beach Commons Park today between the hours of 1-4 pm, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. There is always so much anxiety that I have going out because I never know how Gage is going to react to situations.  I mean I can try to anticipate and control for as much as I can but I am not always able to do that 100% of the time. So, to all those people sitting on the grass as Gage came running onto your blankets – Thank you. He loves to run and be chased. Unfortunately, he doesn’t always understand when to stop. To the couple with the bicycle who allowed Gage to play numerous times with the bike never becoming frustrated with him – I thank you. To the party that was going on in Pavilion 19 – thank you for allowing him to “crash” your party. I cannot begin to explain how thankful I was for all the understanding.

Gage has been doing amazingly well. The words that he is using every day have multiplied. I can’t even begin to remember all the words. Some I didn’t even realize he knew. While this helps with us being able to communicate with him, he still has his moments where we have no idea what he is trying to tell us. He has also started to be more social. He will tell me “hold hand mommy”. This generally means he wants to show me something. Just hearing my sweet boy say “mommy” will never get old. I waited almost 3 years to hear that word. I had said I wouldn’t complain when he started talking and I won’t. I love every word that comes out of his mouth.

Jillian turns 1 tomorrow. I am not sure I will have the time to write this tomorrow so I am writing this tonight. I can hardly believe that my little girl is turning 1. She truly completes our family. I will never forget the day I gave birth to her. When I looked at her, I knew immediately she was “Jillian”. I will always remember calling Jill after her birth to tell her the name. She had taken such interest in naming this little bundle of joy…She even mailed me a long list of names. In the end, we decided that Jillian was what suited her. Jill’s reaction was normal Jill and will stay with me forever. While she never met Jillian, I know she is with her every day. I miss her.

Until next time…

It takes a Village

I have learned a lot throughout my life. As a rule, I try to learn something new all the time. However, what I don’t like learning is things that affect my life negatively. One of those things is that I can only rely on myself. I know I say that with the absolute word “only”. I don’t mean 100% of the time. I would say 98% of the time. I haven’t been able to figure out why that is exactly because I always try to be supportive of others. It’s why I do what I do for work.

Personally, I have always had a difficult time asking for help…in other words I pretty much don’t ask until I am hanging by a thread and it is unraveling. I understand how important it is to take care of yourself and your relationships. I also know that divorce is VERY common among parents with children that have special needs. We have a child that needs extra support and understanding. Therefore, it makes it difficult to leave him with “just anyone” for extended periods of time. With Gage, things have to be done differently. You can’t reason with him like every other 3 year old. We pick our battles with him and usually those battles are for BIG things. For instance, right now we are focusing on potty training. That is the one area I don’t back down on with him even if it results in a 45 minute (or more) meltdown because he does NOT want to sit on the potty.  Anyways, I seemed to have digressed. My ADHD is kicking today.

I realize that support is imperative when raising any child, especially a child with special needs. It can be very stressful and you need that reconnection with your spouse. For example, Gage just started Pre-K (which he is adjusting fairly well…that’s a whole new entry) this week. It has been very crazy getting him adjusted to a different schedule. It has been nothing short of a miracle that I have been able to have him in bed AND asleep before 9 pm every night (thanks Melatonin). My point is during our days there is never really any time for my husband and me to connect. He leaves the house early for work and usually is gone until late in the evening. By the time he gets home, its dinner time and then he is ready for bed to start the whole routine over again the next day.

My question is what do people do if they have limited support? Because I am trying to figure it out.

Until next time…

Happy Birthday Gage!

Well I am 2 days late posting this but better late than never. January is my month of birthdays. It all starts off with Gage, then David, and finally Jillian. I am seriously considering celebrating the kids half birthdays.

I can't believe that my little boy is 3 already. I don't think I will ever forget his birth. He gave me quite the scare breaking my water 6 weeks early. Luckily, he only had to spend a few days in the NICU. At the time, I would have told you I was not going to go through that again. I have never been so scared. There were seriously more hospital staff in my room that day that I wasn't sure if we could fit anyone else in. If there was one thing I learned that day is that God is definitely in control. Well maybe I didn't learn it just then, but I was definitely reminded of it. I am not sure I have ever prayed so hard. My little guy came into this world all 4 lbs 14 oz with his own agenda and he has lived up to that. He definitely is not taking the road more traveled. He is carving his own way and teaching me along the way. He never ceases to amaze me. He has gone from not saying anything at all to saying words that I didn't even think he knew. He can count to 20 (with a little help). I would not trade it for anything in the world. He may not look at me all the time but when he does it makes me all the more happier. I never take for granted the little things. I waited to hear him say "Mommy" for almost 3 years and now I can't hear it enough. I always smile even when I feel like I could lose it. He does the sweetest stuff and says the most adorable things.

This week marks another chapter beginning for him. He will start a Pre-K class at an elementary school. He will be in an Autism class and I only hope that it helps him socially. I am starting to see him interact more with us and with other children as well. But he continues to stay to himself. He is also engaging in more pretend play.  David got him a little grill for his birthday and he immediately started to play with the food and prepare it. I know that God has great things in store for him. He has certainly already taught me a lot.

Until next time...