Reflections

As I sit here watching the New Years Eve specials on TV, I am reflecting on 2013. This year has been one wild roller coaster. Some of the twists and turns were expected. Others took me by complete surprise. In January, my sweet baby girl joined this world and made my family complete. She has been my ray of sunshine when I have needed it the most. I never could have known then how profound her birth would be.

The months seemed to fly by with all the craziness of life. Gage had his therapy to help with his speech and I wasn't ever sure if I was ever going to hear my sweet baby boy say "Mommy". I now hear it daily a million times and I don't think I will ever tire of it. His speech has improved significantly. Everyday I hear new words. Tonight, he counted to 20 with me. Gage was evaluated in August for Autism. I fought the diagnosis but in October I relented in order to get him the services that could help him. I am excited for the road that lies ahead of him in the coming year. I love him more than anything in the world and I only hope I can help him grow into an amazing young man.

In July, I lost a very dear friend, Jill Balboni. She had lived with Cystic Fibrosis her whole life and struggled to breathe daily. Jillian is named after her. I am so happy that Jill was able to see this. I am saddened that she never was able to meet Jillian in person. I do know that Jill is with us everyday. I look at Jillian and all I think about is Jill. Oh and it helps that Jillian has taken to shoes and sparkly things. These were some of Jill's favorite things. With Jill's passing, I was reminded that life is short. I know we all know this but I think that sometimes its easy to forget in the hustle and bustle of life. In Jill fashion, she reconnected many of her friends. I was also able to get to know others that I never had the opportunity to for whatever reason. I am grateful for that. Jill taught me so many things. I am not sure if I could even recall all of it. Jill was an amazing person. I am so lucky to have had her in my life.

Reflecting on everything that has occurred in 2013, I am excited to move into 2014. I feel like there is so much  opportunity ahead of me and my family. I am excited to see how my children grow and flourish. Life is  a journey not a destination. Happiness is not something you search for...you create it in yourself. No one can make you happy but yourself. The experiences we have in life are meant to teach us and help us grow. It's all about perspective. With that said, this year my resolutions are going to be for me to live in the moment and slow down. I don't want to miss a thing with my children and family.

I hope everyone has a safe and Happy New Year!

Until next time...

Eligibility

So today was Gage's eligibility meeting for services through the school board. David and I were very happy with the results. He will be going to a PreK program at an elementary school for a full day starting in January. He will also get speech during his day. This is a huge relief to me. I know that he will get what he needs on a daily basis and hopefully he will start to interact socially more. Overall, Gage is in the average range for his intelligence. He continues to have a big discrepancy between is receptive and expressive language. He understands far more than he can express. Every day it is getting better.

I know that we are lucky. Gage is not severe. This has definitely opened my eyes not only as a parent but as a clinician. I am very careful not to label anymore. The diagnosis does not define who you are as a person. Gage is not autistic. He has autism. There is a big difference. Gage is an amazing child who loves cars, trains, and planes. Autism never will define him as a person. He will learn to cope with the symptoms and do great things in life. As will every other child with Autism.

Until next time....

Little things

Well November is over and of course I failed to list what I was grateful for daily. I realized that even though I didn't acknowledge out loud (or in writing)  what I was grateful for didn't mean that I wasn't thinking about it. Actually I thought about it all day pretty much everyday...I was just too Exhausted to write it out.

I think this is the most valuable thing I've learned an I am thankful for.  I've learned to stop and notice the little things. Gage has taught me that. Tonight I was brought almost to tears by Gage. We were driving (ok I was driving) and all of sudden he says "red light stop" "green light go". I couldn't believe my ears. You see Gage never says anything when we are in the car even if I try to engage him. Most times I end up having a conversation with myself. So hearing him say 3 words together brought tears to my eyes...to be able to communicate with my son is so precious to me. I don't take that for granted. So to carry on any type of conversation with him is more valuable to me than anything else in this world.

November has been an eye opener for me. I have done a lot of soul searching and realized a lot (although I could do without the anxiety and mini panic attacks). I know that there are lessons to be learned in all of my experiences and I am trying wholeheartedly to open myself up to it. I am really trying to let go of what I can not control. It is definitely a daily struggle. I just know that is have to live with myself and my decisions and if I'm ok with that then nothing else matters. Life is constantly changing. We all have our paths that we must take. Just remember to try not to judge others unless you have walked in their shoes. I am trying to remember this for myself.

Gage has definitely taught me so much more than I have taught him and I am so thankful for this gift. Life is short and I have been reminded of this all to much recently. Make the most of each day given to you.

Until next time...