I told you that I wouldn't be good at blogging everyday. It's too difficult to put my life in words sometimes. The countdown is on....only about 3 weeks left until my appointment. I am getting so anxious. I just want it done already. I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life. Who would have thought that I would ever get this big?! I guess thats my genes working overtime. Lucky me. In other news, Jill is spending a lot of time with her new boyfriend and his daughter. She tries to include me, but I have always been the third wheel. I was in college and I don't want to be the "tag-along" anymore. I know she only means the best, its just difficult. I am scared, too. I am scared that I will be all alone. That is a very real reality. I guess it feels like things will never work themselves out and the one thing I truly want more than anything, I will never have. I find that I am always searching for something and never finding "it". I know I need to let go, but that is too difficult for me. I only pray that God can give me the courage and strength to accept whatever turns my life takes. I never in a million years thought I would be single at 30. It's been a tough couple of weeks. I guess I really needed to unload. Until next time................